Volkswagon Blues

Uh, hi?

deliriouscomatose:

  1. Walk around Nazareth
  2. Become friends with Messiah
  3. ???
  4. Prophet

(via jkateel)

  • starbucks cashier: how can i help you
  • me: i summon hazelnut latte in attack position. i activate the magic card "size grande" and apply it to my coffee. hazelnut latte allows me to special summon a cheese danish from the dessert section and set it in defense position. i set credit card face down and end my turn.

sappling:

how many “take me to the museum and make out with me” posts can y’all make like damn you’re horny and pretentious we get it

(via slythering)

pulpofiction:

a fanmix for that feeling you get when you read another mix description; characters described in vague terms, girls with power and boys with tragedies; metaphors abound like flowers in a meadow, their petals heavy with rain; i don’t recognize any of these fucking bands

grawly:

i dont even interpret “uwu” as a smiley i just read it as “oo woo”

(via allthecolorsindisguise)

I don’t consider myself a feminist, I prefer to call myself a humanist or an egalitarian.
— Pseudo-intellectual white dude who prefers to imagine that he’s more enlightened than feminists and also is uncomfortable with the thought that he’s part of the problem and also has a incorrect conception of feminism. (via auto-rambler)
princehal9000:

winstons-and-enochs:

the guardian imagines what historical figures might look like today. my personal favourite is shakespeare, reincarnated as a shoreditch hipster.

but can you imagine how’d he’d sound a loft party? 
“I’m going to subvert the whole, like, narrative ideal by telling you upfront that these two, like, teenagers are going to fall in love and die, and then do it. So there’s no more hiding in the words. Stark, yeah? And then, I think I’ll hide a sonnet in their big scene together, right? It’ll be subversive, because only, you know, people who are up on sonnets will get it…..what? No, she’s thirteen—a little edgy but that’s art, man. Art.”
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princehal9000:

winstons-and-enochs:

the guardian imagines what historical figures might look like today. my personal favourite is shakespeare, reincarnated as a shoreditch hipster.

but can you imagine how’d he’d sound a loft party? 

“I’m going to subvert the whole, like, narrative ideal by telling you upfront that these two, like, teenagers are going to fall in love and die, and then do it. So there’s no more hiding in the words. Stark, yeah? And then, I think I’ll hide a sonnet in their big scene together, right? It’ll be subversive, because only, you know, people who are up on sonnets will get it…..what? No, she’s thirteen—a little edgy but that’s art, man. Art.”

(via deductionwiththedoctor)

  • Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
  • New Yorker: No, but I could extra extra read all about it Tourist doesn't know where things are. What a noob. I have no time for you. I have an important job on 1356th avenue. Good day, sir.
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